Darling,

I am just so lonely for human interaction. 

Preferably the kind I can make out with.

It’s come to the point of the day where I can sulk in how bad it’s going to be, or turn it around. I’m pretty sure it’s going to be the first one.

I pretend like it doesn’t bother me that you’ve already found the love of your life.

It kills me.

When was the last time you were asked that question? And, more importantly, how often do you get asked that question?

In terms of relationships, I was never really asked that question until a 35 year old married polyamorous man scooped me up and showed me it DID matter. 

And until you know that you matter, you can’t really make the choice of you really want. 

What I need now is to be the 20 year old Carrie Bradshaw of this shit and write this all out, give my confessions with out feeling like a sexist bitch. 

Sometimes I need to bitch about the bad parts of my choices. They’re not all gems, but whose are really? The thing is, my choices make me MOSTLY happy, I just want to bitch in peace about the parts that don’t.

I’m the kind of person that doesn’t want to bother people with my problems and I don’t like to show my sad/bitchy/unhappy side. 

Here’s where I’m at:

I have an older married poly boyfriend who I’ve been with for a year or so and I really love him but I often feel like my Disney and childhood upbringing make me just..not made for polyamory. And I hate to throw the stars in there but I’m a libra, jealousy is my biggest vice. So he and I are in a general understanding that until I feel like I’ve found a monogamous relationship I’m really interested in, we will continue to date. 

For those of you judging already, I don’t give a flying shit. I love him and he is more than good to me.

I have a “don’t ask don’t tell” fuck buddy. It’s actually funny how when you write down what is going on, you see how chaotic your life is. 

He is intelligent and hysterically funny with the fingers of a guitarist. I’m lucky he deals with my shenanigans.

These two make me MOSTLY happy, this tumblr is for confessions of an aware person. You can tell because I use proper grammar though I won’t guarantee correct spelling. 

Just entertaining, heart wrenching, real life confessions.